Vinnie Jones has revealed that he believes a message appears the night he died his wife Tanya.
The 55-year-old actor has kept open about his grief when his wife died at the age of 53 in July last year in their home in California after a six-year battle with cancer.
In his book, Lost Without You: Loving and Loving Tanya, Winnie recalled how he saw a strange light hover above his house, saying that he was still struggling to explain it.
Message: Vinny Jones has revealed that he believes a white light he saw the night his wife Tanya died was a message (pictured in November 2019)
He said: ‘The night Tans died, we were all sitting outside in the garden … Around midnight, still, a cold night, there was no moonlight.
‘One by one, people were going inside the bed, and I told them that I would come in a little while. I wanted to smoke and see the darkness and be alone.
‘As I sat there, I saw a white light above me. I knew it could not become a star because of the cloud cover, but there it was – a simple white light above me. ‘
Winnie knew that when people lost someone they loved they could start looking at her signs and insisted that he ‘never believed in that stuff’.
Passing: The actor has kept open about his grief when his wife died in his home in California last year at the age of 53 after a six-year battle with cancer (pictured in 2010)
However, he was sure that the white light was real and also knew that it was not a star or helicopter because it was so low.
He said: ‘I don’t know, but in my grief and despair I said to Prakash, “Are you beautiful?”
‘Light shone upon me; It did not discount, or change. Was it tan? There was only one way to find out. I thought of all the times he would say, “I have kisses?” And I’ll throw one to catch him.
‘So that’s what I did, right there in that dark garden – I threw one last kiss up to the white light above me.
Prakash: The former footballer recalled how he saw a strange light hover above his house and said that he was still struggling to explain it (pictured in 2007)
‘Suddenly, the light scorched, and sunk, and hovered, and then it flew – Zoom! – It flew and swam and then it went away from me in that garden, and left me, once again alone. ‘
Vinny said he has checked and re-checked the weather forecast for that night and it rained in Los Angeles, with the sun not visible until noon the next day.
Winnie and Tanya met in childhood and tied the knot in 1994, with the actor recently confessing to Pearson Morgan’s life stories that he would never remarry.
Asked if she could ever face marrying again, Vinny admitted: ‘I think it is an impossible question to answer, but if you asked me if I would marry again, it was impossible. Will, she will not.
‘There won’t be another marriage Pierce I can tell you that. It was perfect and did it for me. ‘
He said: ‘I don’t know, but in my grief and despair I said to Prakash,’ Are you beautiful? ‘(Pictured in 2013)
During his interview with Pierce, Vinny recalled the heartbreaking moment of his wife’s demise: ‘He told us maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe months.
‘I was walking on my knees, you find yourself making arrangements before going to the Forest Lawn Cemetery. The only way to describe how you feel you are in a scary dream.
‘I knew the pain was horrific, I knew it was time to stop and I begged the nurse to stop it.
‘Suddenly she took her last breath and I felt all these butterflies leave her. You’re not just in real time … I felt all these butterflies, Tinkerbell, and she was free. Painless ‘
Winnie discusses her grief in her new book Lost You: Loving and Losing Tanya, which she hopes will ‘inspire others to get the help they need’.
If you are impressed with this story, you can call Samaritas on 117 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.
Honest: Winnie and Tanya met in childhood and tied the knot in 1994, with the actor recently stating on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories that he would never remarry (pictured in 2019)