The new COVID test asks you to shout (or sing)


Laura Dern, queen of scream on screen

Laura Dern, queen of scream on screen
Screenshot: Big Little Lies (HBO)

We have been pricking our brains with nasal swabs on a regular basis for almost a year. Maybe you are one of those weirdos that you discovered that it feels like a nasal orgasm, or that you have done everything you can to avoid having a foreign object that is not the “fun” type in your nose. If you are part of the latter group, there is good news! Reuters reports that Dutch inventor Peter Van Wees has devised what he hopes is a less painful and highly cathartic method for testing for COVID.

Here’s how it works: Van Wees asks participants to enter an airlocked cabin and shout. They also have the option of singing, but without a few drinks on us, the screaming sounds a lot more fun. An industrial air purifier then collects the emitted particles and analyzes them. The whole process takes just 3 minutes.

As Van Wees explains, “If you have coronavirus and you are infectious and you scream and scream, you are spreading tens of thousands of particles that contain coronavirus.” To test it, Van Wees set up a store next to a coronavirus testing center, so he could test it on people who had just been tested.

So does it really work? At this time, Van Wees is “working with a private company to gather evidence of their strategy.” Hopefully it works, because who doesn’t need a good shout these days?

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