The Mariner offense takes an afternoon nap, waking up just in time to give Marco Gonzales a complete game win


Perhaps more than any other sport, baseball has a cute way to bend and mold to new shapes with every sport. Other games are unstable due to time constraints and a new starting pitcher every day, which is more predictable on a day to day basis. Sometimes individual teams also have a unique style of play that they bring with them for each fight. Take our local NFL team, which plays on the edge of the Razor every Sunday to thrill its fans and surpass them in medical emergencies.

Baseball is not quite the same. A large amount of the game statistically means that the variance is fixed. The limitations of a human arm and the need for a different pitcher also spice things up in a way that not a consistent starting quarterback or point guard. For example, sometimes baseball gives you frantic lead changes and down-to-the wire elations, crowding the base paths and crossing the plates as circles surround and slide the pitcher.

The second time you … well you get a game like today.

In classic 2020 fashion, much of today’s excitement was fictionalized. We wondered who the Mariners would trade and what kind of returns they would get, instead of focusing on the actual game, how this year has come under question when we feel safe instead of doing our favorite things again can do. Isolation approved. The players liked it. Contestant bats were rare today as weak contact stole the show.

Pitching duets can be entertaining, thought-provoking television, to be clear. But without live fans hanging on every pitch, falling on two-strike counts, the entirety of Monday’s game felt flat and listless. That afternoon’s game aligned with the already sleepy nature, and the Mariners and Angels had all the makings of an forgettable Rome in the Orange County heat.

[kid from finding nemo voice] I touched the butt!
Photo by John McCoy / Getty Images

About him, by the way. This is the fault of all the Angels, and it’s hard to blame the production crew and the non-California entities that discuss the team, but the Angels don’t play in Los Angeles! Don’t be fooled by the name of their stupid ass, who is stalking stinky mouths as the organization tries to distance itself from the scrappy tank tops, barbed wire tattoos and sun glasses on the back of its head Are caused by dirt. Bike and thong flip flops. In calling themselves LOs AnGeLeS aNgElS, the team is bashing the rest of society thinking that they are more glamorous and desirable than they really are. Los Angeles is a glitzy entertainment and a diverse tapestry of excess and life, housing some of the world’s most beautiful people and culture. Orange County is like three million people living in a yellow Mustang.

In the interest of transparency, I should probably mention that conditions like the aforementioned sleep of the game really bother me. Most missed in the fourth and fifth innings. Never mind, nothing really happened. This is like the nature of a spelling pitching performance. Its enormity is not clear until the final inning, when the reality of a full game takes shape and a glance at the box score tells you how surgical the pitcher has been. For example, today Marco Gonzales retired the Angels 21 straight from the second to eighth innings. After a home run on Justin Upton’s chest, Marco humiliated his teammates.

Stoke only ended when Shohei Otani pinched to start the ninth and threw the broken bat grass finder into shallow right field. One issue in a one-run game, certainly, but not quite hot water. Andrelton Simmons followed suit with his own single to top the temperature, and things started boiling over when Mike Trout swallowed his way to the plate. In his first three batters, Trout swinged thrice, twice and looked once. As winning in the bottom of the ninth, Trout now had vengeance in his eyes, which I have always been told is fresh. You should look for fish with the clearest eye to see which one will taste best. That was definitely the problem when the trout lined up in the double play, leaving a delicious taste in the collective mouth of Orange County as if they were pulled up to the beach to find out the lack of tasty barrels. Gonzales prodded Albert Puzols to the finals to cement the entire game of his second career, allowing the Mariners to escape Anaheim for the rest of the year, with several seasonal lifeguards in front of him.

Gonzels’ offense after Upton’s home run did enough to support him. Seattle’s own version of Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavalry, the unexpected pairing of Jake Fraley and Joseph Odom, teamed for back-to-back hits to give the Mariners their first run. Fraley reached the base of his first MLB triple and Odom collected his second MLB hit and RBI with a clutch single. In the sixth, Jose Marmolez continues to surprise the locals with his unexpected win, much like when an Anaheim clothing store stays in business without carrying camo shorts or peony boards.

It was Marmolejos’ second Ginger of the Year at Angel Stadium, which tickles me and leaves many Fullerton residents saying, “That’s not it at all, man”. Oh well

Maybe things will get worse when Engels lands his top-five draft pick, something that has made AL West fans more nervous, letting Angels destroy his best natural resource for years by destroying himself from the inside Not weakened.

That, my friends, is the Orange County Way.