All of Bradley’s siblings and his spouse have been asked to be on the bridal side – all except Kate.
Kate’s husband is at her brother’s party, but her future sister-in-law “Julie” kicks Kate out.
Kate joined Julie at their wedding party many years ago.
Kate can’t think of anything that would have offended Julie.
How should Kate handle this upcoming wedding?
Dear Sage Aunty: In the movie version, “Kate” will attend the wedding, get roaring drunk at the reception, and then deliver the roast-toast of the century.Movie pitch aside, if each of the siblings and spouses is included in the wedding party, the boycott seems off-kilter. However, the fact that Kate included “Julie” in their marriage does not force Julie to reclaim it.
Ideally, Julie would have anticipated this challenge and told Kate about her decision – gently and respectfully.
Kate may be able to make a serious interpretation by asking Julie, “I accept your decision not to ask me to be part of the wedding party, but I want to make sure – are you and I okay?” ”
He should add, “Please, let me know if there is any way I can be helpful as you got closer to the date.”
Kate should attend this wedding, be a polite guest, and have a good time.
Dear Amy: Every summer and fall, family members gather at a beach house about an hour from my house.
Because there are not enough bedrooms in the house, me and my husband sleep in an open loft just above the kitchen and living room.
I am a light sleeper, and I only have eyes closed for a few hours due to the natural activity of night owls and early waking of children.
With chronic health conditions, I want to sleep in my house and return to the beach house for day and evening activities, but I fear it will be seen as rude.
Family is important, but so is my health. what do you recommend?
Dear sleep deprived: You are responsible for taking care of yourself and looking after your needs. No one else can do this for you.
You have two reasonable options: to ask for a bedroom with a door, or to drive home each night.
I cannot imagine that anyone would be with me – if after many years – you decided to make changes and stop sleeping in the loft.
In fact, if you choose to return to your home and sleep in your own bed each night, your fellow family members may actually be happy to have more sleeping space available in the group home. And you can show up in the morning with fresh bagel / donuts / coffee for the group.
Just make sure that you are not tired and / or disabled when you drive home.
Dear Amy: In response to “Red-Faced Friends”, which concerned people bringing gifts for the “No Gifts” party on their 80th birthday – my wife invited over 100 friends and relatives to my birthday party.
Knowing that most of them will bring a gift (even if stated Not to On invitations), I asked them to bring a new unwritten children’s toy, which they did.
A few days after the party, I delivered all the toys to my local children’s hospital (Children’s Hospital of Orange County). They almost didn’t fit in my van!
The hospital staff brought some children to the lobby where the gifts were loaded, and the children were excited.
This 80-year-old man was also excited.
Dear Gift: I like your liberal idea.
Dear Amy: Recommend you be “disappointed”, whose husband had stopped using deodorant and was now smelly.
Better advice for this person would be:
1) Clean the beard it will reduce the smell significantly.
2) Wash underarms in the morning and evening.
3) Lose weight, change coffee and diet.
4) Get active and sweaty in a workout because you will get rid of toxins and other chemicals bacteria. It would be an advantage with depression if it is a cause.
Dear reader: All great advice, I’m sure. But “disappointed” couldn’t muster the courage to talk to her husband about her body odor. If she can’t even mention it, she can be sold very hard to shave her trembling.You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.