After two weeks of struggling to poke fun at politics in the Joe Biden era, Saturday night live I finally had something to work with this weekend: the second impeachment and the inevitable acquittal of Donald Trump.
The scene began Saturday with Tucker Carlson (played by Alex Moffat) of “Human White Claw” hosting Kate McKinnon’s Lindsey Graham and Aidy Bryant’s Ted Cruz on their Fox News show.
“There’s a lot to cover tonight, including impeachment,” Carlson said at the top of the cold open sketch. So instead of my usual monologue, here is an alarming loose collection of non sequiturs. AOC is hiding in your house right now? I wouldn’t let it go through her. Pronouns for dogs? Come on, everyone knows they’re boys. Pixar: Are you depressing our kids or are you gay? Choose one!”
When Graham joined the show, he said, “Thank you, Tucker, it’s a great day for 30 percent of America,” before explaining, “We all agree that the attack on the Capitol was a horrible thing. But just because the rioters yelled ‘fight for Trump’ doesn’t mean they were referring to Donald Trump. They could have been some real Tiffany heads. Maybe some Eric fans? I do not know!”
“But regardless, the trial is over and now we can get through this and focus on the serious issues,” he continued. “That’s locking up Hillary and freeing the beautiful Britney Spears.”
“That’s a great point, Lindsey,” Carlson replied. “It really makes my face contort like I’m thinking.”
Then Cruz joined them when the words “Trump said ‘ugly wife’” appeared on the screen below him. “Like any impartial juror, we took it upon ourselves to meet with defense attorneys to give them some very simple legal advice: Stop and don’t.”
Then, after a handful of jokes at the expense of Trump’s defense attorneys, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennett) appeared to repeat his sudden reprimand at the former president despite voting to acquit him.
“Everybody knows you can’t impeach a former president,” McConnell said. “That’s why we should have charged him earlier, when I said we couldn’t.”
And finally, when asked what he really thought of Trump, he added: “I think he is very much guilty. And the worst person I have ever met. And I hope that all the cities, counties, and states will shut down. Oh God, that felt good! I’ve been keeping it around my neck for four years! “
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