Guys, I do not like Pittsburgh penguins.
It is true that I do not disclose this. In fact, I prefer not to talk about it. I can assure all of you that I have never tweeted insults about the face of Sidney Crosby, not once compared it to a vat of miracles left in the sun for eight hours. I like having those things for me. That is the rational and mature thing to do.
However, I have to admit, this game came to me. It made me feel things about the Pittsburgh penguins that I had not felt in a long time. Violent disgust I hate pure, without a filter. I had forgotten what it was like to feel these things about a hockey team that was not mine, but of course, now I remember it.
I did the best I could to be objective here, since I know it's something people trust me for, but I'm just human. I hate when the Flyers lose. I hate when the dotted lines break. I hate when I am forced to look at the face of Evgeni Malkin. I hate that song about applauding that always comes after whistling. That's a bad song, and if I did not like to see the Flyers, I would not even know it existed, since I'm a millenarian who does not listen to the radio. This took my life.
Here is a tweet that summarizes very briefly how I felt about this whole game:
It's been over a month since I had to think about the existence of the Pittsburgh Penguins, and this first period reminded me of the blessing it was to experience. My God, I hate this team. I feel in my heart a deep and violent rage that is, I feel, completely inexpressible.
The Flyers took advantage of the man from the beginning, since Nick Bjugstad, who is ugly, was penalized for delay in the game at 1:17. Once again, you all know how I feel about this pain. Frankly, he is very stupid and should be removed from the sport of hockey, but not today, friends, not today. The power play that followed lacked a factor, "wow," and although I made a personal promise that I would no longer sink into a fatalistic chasm every time the Flyers seemed less than great, I found myself positively. indignant.
I will return it. It's okay, I'm sorry, I'm marking it right now. It's just, like, the penguins. God.
The first period saw the Flyers with a lot of possibilities that they simply could not bury. Such is the way of things, I suppose. Oskar Lindblom seemed to have been bitten by a snake, since Matt Murray, who is ugly, did not do it once, but twice in a race of strange men.
Because we are all approaching death every second we are alive, Sidney Crosby, who is ugly, gave the leadership to the Penguins at 8:19. This was, frankly, a strange play, and the kind of thing that you can not really blame a specific player. No one else knew where that puck was, and least Carter Hart. I tried to get angry at this goal, but I did not feel anything at all. This is an ad sponsored by Lamictal, My Mood Stabilizer.
The Booklets would go almost immediately to the death penalty after this at 9:12, since Claude Giroux was sent to the box for "stumbling", supposedly. I'm still not particularly worried about the death penalty, and once again it turned out that my analysis was right.
Although lately they have obtained the results, there were occasions in the last games in which the death penalty was successful, if not exactly beautiful. This was one of those that I can happily say that it was actually a bit sexy. To prevent the penguins, who are ugly, from rising at two o'clock in the first, it was a very important death for the impulse of the game. Or whatever. I'm sorry, I know I'm pretending to know hockey again.
The rest of the period would pass without another goal, but there was no shortage of possibilities for any of the teams. It still seemed that the Flyers were going to score, and then they did not, but then it seemed they were going to do it again, and they did not either.
Guys, do not force me to write about this game if you are going to lose. Please do not do that to me.
AFTER ONE: 1-0 penguins, 9-8 flyers shots; Penguin goal scored by Sidney Crosby (8:19)
The second period was very similar to a repetition of the first, in the sense that the Flyers had many opportunities, but had difficulties to finish. This is, of course, completely fine and nothing exasperating. For some reason, Matt Murray seemed like an impenetrable fortress that we could not solve, and the rebounds were in every way, except ours, a karmic reimbursement of cosmic power for what happened in the first period of the Anaheim game.
Lindblom had an uncomfortable spill near the penguin bank, his head colliding with Jack Johnson's knees, which are apparently made of solid iron. The game stopped and Lindblom went down to the locker room, probably for the concussion protocol. Godspeed, child.
For some unknown reason, the Penguins really wanted to keep giving away power games from the calls of dumb penalties, so Patric Hornqvist threw a disc on the glass and took a second penalty penalty for the Penguins at 4:38. Well OK.
The subsequent game of power was, again, disappointing. It seemed like there was something I was just not clicking with the guys tonight. Although they showed a lot of offensive energy, getting a good amount of opportunities in the offensive zone, they just looked a little off. Those games are destined to happen; No team is full every night, but man, I would really like it if it did not have to happen against the Penguins. I do not deserve it?
A vengeful demigod would answer that question for me, allowing Bjugstad to score the race at 7:04. This was an objective that can certainly be fixed in the defense, but Hart is also due to a mediocre game. It happens to the best of them, I hear.
But hey, good news: Lindblom went back to the bank. I guess your brainium is fine.
Jake Guentzel was called to shoot at 10:55, and once again the Flyers were sent to the power game, and once again, they really could not do much with that. Go ahead
There is one very silly thing that I will have to address, even if I do not want to, because it makes me really angry. I have been trying to stop my anger (justified, just) towards the sport of hockey, since I feel that it is not what many would call "healthy" or "a measured response" (specifically my psychiatrist, who would tell me) is bad, actually). But man. Oh man
Nolan Patrick should have had this goal. Complete, no jokes, no funny things, I should have had this goal, and it is completely absurd that I have not done it. The referee whistled in a way that can only be described as "maddeningly impulsive." Murray had no control of that puck, not even for a second. Seriously, what is this? Sidney Crosby is putting mayonnaise packages in the pockets of the refs during TV standby times? Fuck man
An incredibly vindicated song of "refuse it, suck" started at the Wells Fargo Center, and I sat alone at home and felt it inside my bones, to the core, at the molecular level.
After two 2-0 Penguins, shots 37-16 Brochures (I'm not kidding); Goal of the penguins scored by Nick Bjugstad (7:04)
I need a drink. In fact, I think I need a lot of drinks.
Almost immediately, Lindblom had another close opportunity that did not enter. Of course, I am completely excited about this.
The game seemed quite lightly at this point. No matter what the Flyers did, they could not solve Murray, despite doing everything possible to splash it and try to make it fall. The Flyers had 40 goal shots a few minutes into the third, but quantity / quality, you know the story.
Just when I started thinking that I would not have much to write here, Guentzel scored a goal. Obviously, that was meant to happen. He made five holes in Hart, which seemed quite out of position, if he had to be honest and impartial (haha). Anyway.
With only a few minutes remaining in the game, it started to get a little spicy. Evgeni Malkin, taking advantage of his game One Dirty Dogshit assigned to the game, deliberately cut Michael Raffl in the face with the blade of his cane in retaliation for a slight push on the back of the head? Of course. Nobody liked this, let alone Jake Voracek and the referees, who decided to give Malkin a bad behavior in the game. Wow, I wonder if it's suspended! Hahaha
The penguins received a five minute penalty, and yes, the Flyers would spend the rest of the game in the power play. It seemed a bit too late, but hey, a lot can happen in five minutes, right?
Namely, Voracek could score a goal, which is exactly what he did at 3:26. The guy looked pretty angry when Malkin shot Raffl, so this can effectively be called a goal of revenge. I love seeing my kids looking at each other out there, after one of them almost took his eyes out of their sockets by a guy who looks like Human Shrek.
With a couple of minutes remaining in the game (and in the power game), the most ridiculous penalties would be imposed. Just before they called the whistle for Murray to cover a disc, Giroux gave him an extra stab in the crease, provoking the wrath of Guentzel, who then mistreated him behind the net. For no reason at all, Giroux would be called to cut here at 6:46. The whistle had not yet been issued, perhaps it was the first time all night that Matt Murray did not receive the benefit of a short whistle.
Guentzel had a pairing penalty for roughing, and the Flyers were still in the power play, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I do not know how these refs can go home and look their families in the eyes and sleep comfortably. In fact, I think I will pursue them in the spiritual sense for the rest of their lives.
After some deliberations, the referees sent Giroux and Guentzel to the dressing room, effectively deciding that a 3-1 game with two minutes remaining (in the power play, no less!) Was completely impossible to win. These guys. I swear to god.
Anyway, it was impossible to win, but they did not know it. Kris Letang (ugly, bad) threw a disc into the empty net, and that's the game, I suppose.
All this has comfort, is that no matter what you do, no matter how well you play, no matter how many times you win us, regardless of your Stanley Cup rings, regardless of your success or your talent or In your skill, Sidney Crosby It will always be tremendously horrible in the cup area. That is true, and I am brave to say it.
THREE THREE: 4-1 Penguins, shots 51-28 Brochures; Goals of penguins scored by Jake Guentzel (14:46) and Kris Letang (19:47), goal of the Flyers scored by Jake Voracek (15:26)
(I'm releasing this tweet here because it did not fit in any other part of the article, but every time I hate the supporters, I remember it and that kindles the joy).
if you turn the patterns on your shirts 90 degrees … the trustworthy REFEREE becomes the despicable PRISONER … truly life is a fragile bitch
– wint (@dril) October 28, 2016