let us rejoice and rejoice


Illustration for an article titled La Quesalupa has returned to Taco Bell: let's rejoice and rejoice

Photo: Taco bell

Six years ago, in a secret laboratory in the bowels of Taco Bell HQ, a team of mad scientists successfully paired a longboat with a quesadilla. After months of messing with its genetic code and tasty garnishes, the Quesalupa was introduced to the world and people rejoiced. Unfortunately, its passage through the public eye was always intended to be brief, so despite its insane popularity and the screams of an inconsolable audience, Taco Bell returned the Quesalupa to its underground vault in late 2016, and the world sank into darkness.

Today is March 10, 2021 and times have been grim. But lo and behold, there are signs of hope! Outside my window the sun is shining, the weather is warm, the flowers are beginning to bloom again. There are vaccines in sight, and with them the promise of days to spend with friends, living, laughing, loving. But lo and behold, what do I see on the horizon, shining as brightly as a thousand suns, filling our hearts with joy and peace, calling us into a new era? La Quesalupa is back, with 50% more cheese!

Check out their fried chalupa shell stuffed with cheese, stuffed edge-to-edge with melted pepper jack and mozzarella! Gaze at its resplendent seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, diced tomatoes, and low-fat sour cream. Marvel at shredded cheddar cheese, boldly declaring that there is no such thing as “too much cheese!” Oh, but today is the most glorious day for those who have downloaded Taco Bell App, which grants them “early access” to the revived Quesalupa. If you don’t have the app, you’ll have to wait patiently until tomorrow to start celebrating. Unfortunately, once again, the Quesalupa is available for a limited time only, so gather your cheese while you can.

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