I had no idea how sad she felt until she got out. Once during a conversation, she shared many, many incidents, including a lack of affection during her childhood that hurt her. There is truth in this matter; However, I did not see it at the time.
Now that she is an adult, I have tried to “make up” for the pain I caused her. I’ve been there for him. She still (subconsciously) punishes me.
He is now a doctor, and through medical school he wrote me love-filled cards of kindness and appreciation, thanking me for my support and love. Yet we can hardly be around each other for two days, without her doing everything I say or do.I’m always on egg peels around that. She is very beautiful and professionally motivated. I know that I annoy him. I can’t find out if he still has childish resentment.
She is currently distancing herself from me. This happened after that and I traveled several hundreds of miles simultaneously to his medical residency. Although she was already happy with me for a month, the journey was not good.
She says she does not like the person I am. It originates from the left field.
I do not know how to react. She ignores my texts.
Should I just give it a place?
Dear dumbfounded: First this: You cannot “make up” for your daughter’s lack of affection, neglect, or imbalanced treatment during her earlier years. You can only try to accept the validity of your daughter’s experience, apologize, apologize, and start anew – as two adults sharing a complex history.
Your daughter is a medical resident, and so she is probably not taking the extra emotional bandwidth to work on your relationship. During a very high-tension situation (in a new place with a highly challenging job), he said something harsh and ruthless. I think you should try to let this incident go, give your daughter space to succeed and recover, and emphasize that you are working hard to become the mother she is for. Is entitled to
Dear Amy: I am a class of 2020 high school graduates.
While the last few months of my high school experience were marred by weird zoom goodbyes and anticlimatic endings, I put myself with the thinking that in just a few months, I would fly to the college of my dreams.
As soon as this summer ended, the same day all my friends left for college, my university announced the cancellation of all in-person classes and on-campus housing for the entire year.
While my friends all text me about the wonders of college life – the freedom, enthusiasm and new friends they are making – I sit at home and contemplate the year ahead.
In an instant, I lost my friends from high school, and also the opportunity to meet any new friends in my college for at least a year.
How can I make the most of this situation and not be too jealous of my friends, enjoying my life in college?
An 18 year old Sad
Dear grief: I can only imagine how it must feel. I can point out how much worse things can get, or point out their own privileges, but – don’t you hate it when people do it?
Jealousy is a natural, human emotion. I hope you can turn on your jealousy by using this pause to accomplish a personal goal: to run 5K or to write a screenplay, and, in short, to use someday that you personal. Will continue to socialize to develop formally.
Given how rocky the start of the university year has been so far, unfortunately, there is a possibility that your friends will be bouncing back home due to a COVID-19 outbreak on their campus.
Dear Amy: Reacting to your comment that you were playing “cowboys and Indians” in childhood was “nuanced”, parents would improve if they were worried. some were.
We played “Police and Robbers”, and it was very similar.
Dear C: Perfect. that’s my point. Indians have always been seen as “robbers”, when they were actually robbed, that bothers me a lot.You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.