I was not the best parent, and I am being punished

Dear Amy: My middle child and I struggled during our upbringing years. I always connected with my elder brother and younger sister more easily.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan / Chicago Tribune)

I had no idea how sad she felt until she got out. Once during a conversation, she shared many, many incidents, including a lack of affection during her childhood that hurt her. There is truth in this matter; However, I did not see it at the time.

Now that she is an adult, I have tried to “make up” for the pain I caused her. I’ve been there for him. She still (subconsciously) punishes me.

He is now a doctor, and through medical school he wrote me love-filled cards of kindness and appreciation, thanking me for my support and love. Yet we can hardly be around each other for two days, without her doing everything I say or do.