I love my new leafy neighborhood and my lower rent.
I live in a house with a 70-year-old man (my landlord’s brother), who is a former art history teacher and librarian. We have our own living space and bathroom. I have more than twice the size of my previous apartment on the second story of our house, and he lives in the basement.
I have loved his company and the care he dedicates to the garden. Just one thing – he is a very emotional hoarder.
Our kitchen has dozens of wooden spoons, dinnerware sets and cabinets filled with cookware. There are easily a dozen sponges – some old, some new. We have easily 150 spice containers, along with random Knacknacks in every corner. There are corners that are involved in spider webs and other pests.
How do I get her to organize the space and even go to “Marie Kondo”?He seems open to the notion of adjusting his life to accommodate a roommate, but I don’t know where to start and how to preserve his good relationship.
Dear Examiner: It is refreshing to hear that this (somewhat unconventional) living arrangement is working so well for both of you. As a rent-seeking housewife, you essentially have the right to own more than half the kitchen, but because you are a thoughtful and respected person, you are handling it carefully.
Now that you have settled in the house and have lived in the house for a while, you need to muster up the courage to contact your family about the kitchen. Say, “I hope it’s not too weird, but would you mind if I more or less attacked the kitchen and deep-cleansed? I’ve been watching a lot of videos to do this and I’d like to try it out. ”
Let’s assume that he will agree. After starting the cleaning, ask him, “How much are you connected to some of these spices and small things? I am seeing duplicates and a lot of material that has expired. ”
Basically, I am suggesting that you do this work in stages. Just as the accumulation occurred over time, once he has the experience of navigating into cleaner, tidier space, he can encourage you to do more.
One of my daughters replaced our kitchen during the epidemic, and, while there was a slight adjustment period (where are those coffee cups?), The result overall has been fantastic and welcome.
Dear Amy: It looks strange, but ever since the epidemic hit, I have been having very weird dreams – at least twice a week. Some of these dreams are clearly anxiety dreams, but in others, it is as if I am reminiscing the relationships I have had throughout my life (going all the way back to childhood). Vivid shapes and colors are seen in these dreams, but not much is going to happen.
What do you think is going on?
To sleep, slip …
Dear sleep: I read a fascinating interview with Harvard Medical School’s dream researcher and professor Diardre Barrett, who has surveyed more than 2,500 people about their epidemic dreams. You are certainly not alone in reporting vivid dreams in this period. I was surprised to learn that you may be able to control your dream content more before sleeping.
Here’s Barrett’s advice on how to “direct” your dreams:
“Think about what you want to dream about. You can choose the person you want to see in your dream tonight or at a favorite place. Some people like flying dreams, or some people have dreamed a lifetime favorite. Choose the one you want to dream about and … imagine that person or place. Or you can put some picture of what you’re trying to dream about your nightstand, so you see it as the last thing to do before you go to sleep. If you have a particular favorite dream you’re focused on, you can revisit it before you fall asleep. ”
Dear Amy: I could not believe that you had published a note from “Jesus Lewis”! Telling parents that all their children should be treated equally.
Hey, life is not fair. It is so easy.
Dear reader: Life is not fair, but parents should try to be minimal.You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.