Dear Abby: Three months ago, my husband ran into a second cousin he hadn’t seen in 40 years. They were close for a short time during high school and then saw each other.
I did not know until some time ago that he has seen her on social media and has been communicating with her every day since. I didn’t give much thought when he told me – one night when he stayed with him on the computer till 3 o’clock
He lied to me several times about how many times she has been online with him and if she calls or text, he tells me that it is someone else. He sent her pictures – which I saw – yet she refused to receive them. Once he forgot to sign the message sent and of course, I read it. To my shock, he was doing a lot of things while marrying me that I was unaware of. This deeply hurt me, and I told him so.
Recently I was in the hospital. When I called him once or twice a night, he claimed that he did not pick up because he was “tired”. I found out that later he was on the computer with her.
I have asked him more than once why this relationship is so personal, and he says that they are just friends. But when I asked him to look at some of the things he wrote, he refused to show me. I said ok then i will ask his. Well, he blew it!
When I tell her I feel sad that she spends so much time with her in the evening, she did not respond. Am i overreacting? If so, can you tell me how to deal with and what is happening?
Kushin Trubel in the Midwest
Dear Council: You are not overreacting. This is the time to do what you said you are going to do – call the woman and ask her what is going on. After he fills in you, ask yourself if you still want to marry the man who betrayed you emotionally and physically.
If you think there is any hope of saving your marriage, offer your husband the option of seeing the marriage and family doctor together. However, knowing that he or she has no respect for you or your feelings about lying, you may just like to consult a lawyer about what your next steps should be.
Dear Abby: I am an 18 year old woman. My parents got divorced. My father says that I should have fun and I should not give any explanation to anyone.
On the other hand, my mother is very strict. I respect his wishes and he does not do what most people my age do. I try to be very careful with what I say in any conversation with him, but it always ends with his anger towards me.
I want to live my life or at least try. What I do?
Club Experience at TEXAS
Dear Call: An 18-year-old must be careless and engage in self-discovery. But people of all ages have to reduce and stop their social activities these days because their lives may depend on it. And because of anyone’s explanation, until you are self-reliant and on your own, you will Will Have to be accountable.
Your mother must have felt insecure because her daughter is now a young adult instead of her little girl who needs protection. She can also react to the “advice” she is telling your dad. You have to find out what your mother’s anger is during those conversations and find a happy medium.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.