(Anne Farrar/The Washington Post)
Step 1: Come up with random cheeky surprises to mail to individuals.
Step 2: Get individuals to pay $15 for mentioned surprises.
Step three: Profit.
Cards Against Humanity, the favored and unfailingly profane sport that by no means fails to brighten up the get together, has used some variation of this formulation each vacation season over the previous a number of years, with nice success.
This yr isn’t any totally different — however the stakes are greater, if the sport’s creators are to be believed.
On Tuesday, it kicked off its 2017 vacation mail marketing campaign with the dramatic title: “Cards Against Humanity Saves America.”
Its clear goal? President Trump.
“Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans,” Cards Against Humanity wrote on a web site for the promotion. “He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing.”
[A look at Trump’s border wall prototypes]
That’s proper, Cards Against Humanity needs to kill Trump’s proposed wall alongside the U.S.-Mexico border.
How, you ask? The firm claims it has bought some vacant land alongside the border that it’ll apportion into plots and divulge to all who signed up for this yr’s vacation promotion.
Sometime in December, these prospects will obtain within the mail “an illustrated map of the land, a certificate of our promise to fight the wall, some new cards and a few other surprises,” it mentioned.
The firm has pledged to work with a regulation agency specializing in eminent area “to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.”
The marketing campaign offered out in hours.
It’s unclear what different shock objects might be included this yr — “the nature of a surprise is that it surprises you when it occurs,” the web site’s wry FAQ part states — however it’s a protected guess that none would earn The Donald Trump Seal of Approval™.
The marketing campaign kicked off with a faux-video retrospective that appeared to hyperlink Trump’s election with the inevitable warmth dying of the universe.
“In the early part of the 21st century, Donald Trump had just been elected president of the United States,” a narrator intones over footage displaying a sea of troubles: the KKK. Global warming. Explosions. Racism. The violation of our most elementary human rights.
“The American Empire was in decline . . . The country seemed to be hanging by a thread.”
Only with the intervention of “Cards Against Humanity Saves America” was the nation rescued, the video explains.
Of course, anybody shocked that Cards Against Humanity has taken such an anti-Trump stance hasn’t been listening to its playing cards. (One reads: “Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards.” The others on Beck, a political commentator, are in all probability too graphic to reprint.)
And for individuals who are disillusioned that Cards Against Humanity is “getting political,” properly, the FAQ addresses that, too, in no unsure (and mainly unprintable) phrases.
[Cards Against Humanity turns into a political watchdog group, because why not?]
This isn’t the primary time that Cards Against Humanity has given away land to its followers.
In 2014, the corporate bought a tiny island in Maine, dubbed it “Hawaii 2” and gave away one-square-foot plots to those that signed up for its “Ten Days of Whatever of Kwanzaa” vacation marketing campaign.
That yr, it additionally despatched actual poop to individuals who paid $6 for its Black Friday mail marketing campaign.
Its promotions aren’t all the time so irreverent. In 2015, Cards Against Humanity launched a science-themed enlargement pack to profit girls in STEM fields. And for a vacation marketing campaign that yr, “Eight Sensible Gifts of Hannukah,” individuals obtained a number of pairs of socks and a year-long membership to WBEZ, Chicago’s public radio station. The firm additionally paid for employees at its printing manufacturing unit in China to go on every week of trip.
Last yr, weeks after the presidential election, Cards Against Humanity skipped the mail surprises and as a substitute dug a “holiday hole” with individuals’s contributions.
“Where is the hole?” the web site for that marketing campaign requested. “America. And in our hearts.”
On its web site, the corporate defined its determination to resurrect the mail surprises for 2017, regardless of beforehand declaring that 2015 can be the final yr for such a promotion.
“We’re liars,” the FAQ learn, “just like the president.”
The authorities is being run by a bathroom. We haven’t any selection… we’re going to save America and try and hold our model related in 2017
Join in and for $15 we’ll ship you six America-saving surprises this December: https://t.co/o1BFmokO9W
— CardsAgainstHumanity (@CAH) November 14, 2017
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