All the gossip pope is not going to hear from me


Pope.
Photo: Corbis via Getty Image

Last week, during his weekly Sunday Angelus sighting of St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis strayed from his prepared remarks to address all the Hatters and Chetty Cathys who quenched discord within the ranks of the Vatican with their loose lips. Gossip, he said, is a “worse plague than COVID.”

“Please brothers and sisters, let’s try not to gossip,” he said. “Gossip is a plague that is worse than COVID. Worse. Let’s make a big effort: no gossip! “

The devil, he said, is “the biggest gossip”.

I have been considering the Pope’s comments for a while. Ultimately, I had to disagree with him, because I am someone who loves gossip and hates COVID. Despite being a good lapse as a Catholic, I agree to respect their wishes to the extent that I promise not to gossip with them, in particular. In light of that, there is some gossip here, which I am not telling him, and if he asks, you have not heard from me. Amen.

• Samantha S says her dog is a rescue, but I know she met a breeder. And that’s fine !! But don’t just lie about it?

• This one time, in college, this boy Tim started to date this girl Diana, but it turns out that Tim had a long-distance girlfriend at another college, and neither girlfriends knew about each other, And then the long-distance girlfriend transferred to Tim’s college to be with them, and Tim had to tell her and Diana everything! Ahh! It was such a mess.

• I know this person Alex who broke up with middle coitus.

Tod M. Yates Hall was “Mystery Popper” in Freshman of the Year. I didn’t see him do it himself, but someone told me, and he gave his full vibe, it tracks.

• Jenna Kay. Said that she was originally going to be the girl My Daughter But there was a “scheduling conflict” at the last moment, so he chose Anna Chlumsky. But it also makes no sense because Jenna K., like, 5 when they were filmed My Daughter.

• mail r. The pronunciation is fake …

• I saw John Malkovich once in a fancy hat shop in Vienna. It’s not technically gossip, I guess. Just a fun fact.

Anyway, please don’t tell anyone the Pope, he doesn’t want to hear it. May you rest in peace