Absolver Developers Announce Kung Fu Beat ‘Em Up Sifu

Following Absolver’s elegant multiplayer sandbox fight, developers Sloclap have announced a return to punching. His next game is Sifu, a beat ’em up inspired by “kung fu movie classics” starring a young student who seeks revenge for the murder of his family. He’ll be punching and kicking through a city in style, as you can see in the ad trailer below.

It’s hard not to think of Old Boy with that din from the hallway. This story of revenge is set in a fictional Chinese city, where you take on baddies in locations ranging from dirty streets to corporate towers. And yes, I’m ready for more Sloclap punches.

Our boy Brendy said that Absolver was one of the best fighting games and it is, it’s good. Part of the joy of Absolver was building your own move set, flowing between poses, and sassy slapping as you learned new moves. Sifu’s announcement says that players will “unlock unique abilities”, although I suspect they would do so much more if Sifu had similar complexity to Abosolver. That’s okay mind you, it’s not like Sifu is a sequel.

It is also unclear what happens to that magical amulet that revives and ages you. “However, the cost of magic is expensive and you will age significantly each time you come back to life – time is the price you will pay for your revenge,” the ad says. Although I couldn’t tell you if that affects something beyond your appearance. The game was just announced, you know. I can only hope that if you reach Pai Mei’s age, you too will be able to suck your genitals from the inside with such force that the assailants are not only unable to kick your dick, but their foot will get stuck if they try.

Sifu will launch this fall on the Epic Games Store. It will also be on PS5 and PS4.

I’m not a kung fu movie buff, but I’ve enjoyed a lot of old Shaw Brothers movies. I still think that Return To The 36th Chamber has the best presumption for a sequel. The first movie is serious business about a legendary monk, then Return is more comical, as the same actor plays a con man posing as that monk. It is a lot of fun to use tricks to fake kung fu, until it fails and you must head to the Shaolin temple to learn the true business of the great man. Charming.

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