The camera vanishes in a man with a bowler hat sitting on a chair, half lying in the shade. Her gloved hand clutches at her brown hair in frustration as she looks at the photo of a victim. He sighs as he leans forward, his face now lit, revealing our protagonist and a second pair of eyes watching from his hat.
It's me, Mario. And he's a partner of mine, Cappy.
The new Mario game has some serious black film vibrations. Fans on Twitter have been picking up the stench of New Donk City since the game came out, but the idea seems to have solidified with the brilliant help of Storied's podcast. The podcast takes a trip with co-hosts Sean Ainsworth, Harrison Pink and Chris Rebbert as they transform famous movies, television shows and games into other media.
Possibly inspired by the recent rumors that a Super Mario Bros. movie is in process, the hosts reflected on the best method to bring Mario's pixels to the big screen. Sure, the carefree world of Nintendo could not scream "monochromatic detective drama". But it's obvious that you're just not paying attention (or exploring Photo mode in Super Mario Odyssey .)
Because you can color this convinced lady. And baby, let's go together.
His proposed script begins with a panoramic shot of images of a smiling Luigi, while Mario mourns the death of his brother and the best half of his signature Super Mario Bros. PI His voiceover is difficult, maintaining the stereotype Italian caricature that we loved.
But all that is interrupted by the femme fatale, striding into her mushroom-shaped office Sin City- style with bright pink lips in a black and white world. She has a case for the best damn detective / private plumber in the Kingdom.
What follows is his usual Mario game plot, with a damsel in distress who needs the help of a hero to escape from a mafia-style boss with tons of thugs lurking in the city. Bowser, a local land baron in the tradition of Chinatown, depends on his un-good tricks and is trying to marry her and take all the money from her inheritance.
If anyone asks, I have this Mario Odyssey frame paused, and I'm currently narrating "Mario, PI" as a black movie series while I have jazz background music.
Possibly this is my favorite movie that I made on a Friday night. pic.twitter.com/dozRefoaWh
– Jon hanging from the greens (@jon_m_green) December 1, 2017
In honor of his dead brother, Mario goes crazy -an useless pursuit to rescue his lady.
Some key scenes include: 1) Mario encounters Bowser in a country club, with Bowser intimidating the detective by fully possessing his opponent in Wii Tennis while Mario tries to interrogate him, 2) A second femme fatale, in the form Birdo, who can not speak English but gives Mario an egg with a key piece of evidence before being killed, 3) One (if not several) car chase scenes, in which the cars are replaced by Mario go -karts and the tommy guns replaced with Blue Shells.
But, like any good black movie, the trip ends in deception. As Mario digs deeper into the investigation, and eventually manages to kill Bowser, he discovers an unhealthy truth. King Koopa and the Lord of the Drug Bowser were actually small pennies compared to the real boss in charge: Princess Peach, who runs the drug operation in the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom. She needed a kind of fall. Mario was his man. Bowser took the fall.
The story closes on Mario while he is dying, and Luigi emerges from the shadows to kiss the princess.
We can imagine it now: forever the best detective, but always overlooked, Luigi finally has his chance. "I'm … a Luigi, number one!" whispers in the ear of his brother, before delivering the last turtle shell to the heart that kills our stark protagonist.
Now, if that does not have you on the edge of your seat, then you're not living, baby. .